Expert Tease Read online

  “Can I have two slices of Tiramisu please.” I smile to the waitress as Ashley takes the seat recently vacated seat and looks at me expectantly.

  “What are you doing Jade?” She asks me wearily.

  “Ordering dessert. What does it look like?” I say, before asking if she wanted some and signaling for the waiter again.

  “Put your hand down.” She scolds “I don’t want cake. I wanna know what’s up with you. First, you’re late. Which is so unlike you. You showed up smelling like coffee and made me drive across town, on my day off just to bring you a blazer, and now your client is unhappy? What exactly happened today?”

  The waitress comes back with my dessert and the scowl that apparently had a permanent place on my face lately disappears. Nothing made me happier than something sweet and creamy. Taking a bite from my tiramisu, I lick the spoon slowly.

  “Oh, my god!” I moan, “This is so good. You sure you don’t want a bite?”

  This earns me a scowl and she pulls the plate away from me. “No more dessert until you spill. You have two minutes to talk before the cake gets doused in water.”

  “Stop threatening me you tyrant; I thought I was the boss?” waving my fork at her after taking another lick. “Fine, fine. You win.” I say. diving into my rollercoaster ride of an evening, I tell Ashley the entire debacle of the leggy blonde.

  “I just can’t get it off my mind. It’s like my libido went into overdrive, and I can’t stop thinking about sex. Maybe it was her vulnerability that made it sexy, but I don’t want to feel like a predator. Let’s do something fun this weekend. Please? We could go to that bar that you like?”

  My assistant cocks her eyebrows at me and laughs I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively and finish, “You know that one where you met Hunter’s friend, the hot one night stand guy. Who knows we both might get laid.” This gets me a laugh, and she relents and saying we’ll go.

  “But Monday you’re back on your A-game okay. No more leggy distractions.” Laughing I nod, humoring her. There she goes again, putting her bossy boots back on.

  maye

  It started to drizzle as I drove to Maine street to head to our first class at Strip N Fitness. The air was smelling like one of those humid summer rainstorms, even in the middle of Spring it was the kind that makes everything smell like steam and tar. All day it had been sunny. It was a little too hot and I was waiting for it to rain the moment the temperature spiked this morning at eight thirty. Now as I pulled into the parking garage, it was raining cats and dogs and I was starting to wonder if it was a premonition. Maybe this was a bad idea.

  Walking under the awning, nerves wracked my body as I walked into the pristine studio. The mirrored walls spotless, strobes on light dancing off the reflective surface creating a wonderland of visual stimulation. It was almost clinical how clean it was and not at all what I expected it to look like. The solid metal poles, gleamed and stood tall and spaced evenly across the space of the studio. It was amazing. Soft, sensual music played in the background as I walked into the center of the room. Lately, I was looking at myself in the mirror more and more and I was starting to like what I saw, every time I looked. Today was no different as my over stretched tank hung trendily off of my shoulder, partially revealing my red sports bra and falling loosely over my shiny, black leggings. The feel of the leather hugging my hips, combined with the sultry music, made me feel sexy and my hips began to sway of their own volition.

  My heart lurched as I heard the sound of heels hitting the floor pulling me out of my trance. ‘Click, click, click.’ Each step echoed loudly, signaling the arrival of someone who was sure-footed and confident in heels. I studied the silhouette walking towards me. The sashay of her hips, alluringly rolling with each step, while she pulled her hair up into a messy pony tail.

  “Hi” I said, adopting a falsely confident voice. “I’m Maye. Maye Fairchild, my friends and I booked a session with you for today.”

  The woman stepped into the light and smiled. Her lips painted heavily with pink gloss and her white teeth shone brightly even in the dimmed lighting. After a minute, I heard her perky voice heavy in the southern accent greeting me “Hey there, how you doing sugar. I’m Amber, and I own this here fine establishment.”

  Looking down at her hands, staring at it a little longer than I should have. “Your nails are amazing. How’d they do that? I mean how’d they get that little flower in there?”

  A rich chuckle escaped her lips and the girls walking in and laughing raucously saved me from the nervous chatter I was emitting. Rays of light spilled through the open doorway, bathing the four women in sunshine. Looks like the rain had finally stopped falling.

  “Mayyeeeee” Carlotta saunters towards me and stage whispers, “I brought us drinks, because who can strip sober?”

  “Sorry we’re late. Carlotta had to pee four times on the way over and Ana had to have her girl scout cookies, but we made it..” said a flustered Liz, unstrapping her sandals and changing into her six inch heels. “I’m so ready to blow off some steam.”

  “Hey there everyone! Welcome to Strip N’ Fitness. We won’t need the heels to learn the steps but, we’ll try it with ‘em on one time before we go. OKAY!.” Signaling to the back of the room she motions to the lockers, I missed on my earlier inspections. “You can put your stuff right over there and when you’re ready come on over.”

  “Oh my god. What were you thinking coming here slushed Lottie?” I yelled softly at her. “Really, what is wrong with you lately?”

  “Lighten up goosey!” laughing Carlotta, pinches my ass and closes the locker “I’m only having fun sweetie. Come on, let’s go strip”

  Rolling my eyes as I motion to let’s go to Liz and Ana. This was going to be interesting.

  Amber walked us through basic floor movements, praising us and showing Ana how to do the sexy with a chair. It was fun for all of us. I could tell that without a doubt we needed to blow off some steam. I didn’t know what was going on with Carlotta but made a mental note to talk to her privately later. Right now it was time to learn how to use the pole.

  All forms of anxiety bombarded me as my fear of falling took hold. Luckily, I didn’t perspire from my palms when I was nervous or that’d be really bad. Amber wrapped her body around the pole, Expertly, coiling her legs around the metal rod like a snake around branch, it was so fluid and each movement, was beautiful. Her arms sure and strong as she extended her limbs and held her body away from the pole. I wanted to be like her. Confident. Strong. Sexy. Maybe then my husband would want me more.

  The sounds of Ana clapping from her chair in the back, brought me out of my daze and I was ready to at least try it if nothing else. Old gymnastics and cheerleading moves came back to me as I bent backwards, my hands touching the floor, my feet going airborne and around the pole. The thick rod fit perfectly between my thighs, nestled there as a cold reminder of my dormant sex life. Looks like I’ll be masturbating again tonight. I thought to myself. Righting my upper body and shimmying my way up the stripper pole.

  “Woah nelly! You’re awfully good at this Maye.” Amber praised me. Shrugging, I mimic the move she demonstrated when she slid down the pole.

  “You sure learn fast for someone who ain’t never done this before.” Amber says walking towards me.

  “I did cheer in high school and gymnastics since I was six. I guess it’s all muscle memory.” I said taking my shoes off. “Though, I don’t know how you do it. My feet are killing me in these god damn heels.”

  “Ladies I’m afraid that’s our time for today. I’ll see y’all next week same time.” Amber said, switching the music off before turning on the overhead fluorescents and walking away.

  “I’m gonna do the chair dance for Nick tonight. I feel uber sexy. Too bad I couldn’t do the pole part but Maye you totally rocked it. I didn’t know you had moves like that.” Ana said bouncing me with
her hips as she took her handbag out of the locker.

  Liz looked exhausted tending to a totally upset Carlotta who was now teetering, clumsily on her too high heels in her drunken state.

  “Come on guys. Let’s go home.” I said throwing my hands over Ana’s shoulders. Our session with Amber lasted a bit longer than our allotted sixty minutes. Though, it was unanimous that we would all be back and sober next week.. Getting Carlotta to admit it was fun even though she was wasted was easier than expected as we walked to our cars. I couldn’t wait to try it at home with Blake after a couple more classe

  Jade

  Of all the things I loved about Endings, the temperamental weather wasn’t one of them. The rain was beating down heavily. It was as though mother nature decided to mirror my mood and then magnify times ten. Last Friday with Ashley was fun, though the women were either too short or too brazen in their advances. Where was the fun in having someone just open up to you like an OBGYN; I wanted the chase and they didn’t put up too much of a fight.

  My phone rings pulling my mind back to the present;

  “Hey Ash, I’m almost there.”

  “Sorry not Ash, just Maye.” She answers.

  “Maye?” The question in my voice apparent.

  “Oh, uh- I just realized I never did give you my name or anything.” Maye rattles off.

  “Well…”

  “Oh yea, I spilled your coffee on your Jacket and well it’s been cleaned and I was wondering if you’d like it back now.” She pauses, “You know for your meetings and stuff?”

  A laugh escapes my throat, full and rich. “Of course I want my blazer back. Do I get coffee as well?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’m headed out of town tonight so I’ll give you a call when I get back okay. Look I gotta take this call but I’ll call you when I get back in town okay. Have a nice day.” Switching calls I hang up before she has time to respond.

  “Where are you? You’ll miss your flight.” Ashley sounds pissed.

  “I’m turning off to the airport’s parking garage now. See you in a bit.” I hang up before she could chew me out anymore.

  Apparently, the leggy blonde has a name. Maye.

  Ashley was totally done with me by the time I dragged my carryon off the security scanner.

  “Seriously? What is with you and being late all of a sudden?” She said.

  “I’m not late, see I’m checking in before final boarding call.” I retort handing the CSR my ticket as my assistant rolled her eyes at me.

  “Remind me to call Maye when I get back to collect my blazer.”

  “Who’s Maye and why does she have your blazer?” She asked. “Wait is that why you’re late, you had a quickie before your trip? Ohhhh I see. Did Stella finally get her groove back?

  Her earlier irritation at my lateness gone as she grilled me for details.

  “Are you serious?” I laughed “I don’t think it’s so bad. I don’t need to get my groove back. It never left.”

  “You’re right, it never left. You’re just so freaking picky. Don’t you remember last Friday at the club. You couldn’t even fake paying attention to the women surrounding you.” She said bumping me with her hip. “Now tell me who this Maye is.”

  “Legs. You remember the leggy blonde I told you spilled coffee on me that day I had a meeting with Mr. Lee-Sing? That’s her name. Maye.” I said.

  “Legs? You gave her a nickname. Wow. This is too much even by my standards. Do you like wanna see if the carpets match the drapes or something?” Ashley jokes twirling her brunette hair like an airhead.

  “Shut up!” Laughing I add, as we board our flight, “Just remind me to call her when we return okay.”

  The flight was uneventful and after Ashley caught me up on our itinerary she went to sleep and left me with my thoughts for our six-hour flight to Miami. Maye’s name kept playing around in my head. I couldn’t help but wonder what piqued my interest, but I was going to find out. Come hell or high water, I’d get to know the mousy woman who offered me the shirt off her back to right the wrong she created. That alone showed me she was genuine. I needed genuine in my life, being alone was starting to get depressing.

  MAYE

  It’s been two months since my friends and I started the strip tease class at Strip N Fitness. Today was the day I was going to surprise Blake with my sexy moves. I’ve been working so hard to be the girl he fell in love with thirteen years ago.

  “Guys, I’m cutting out early tonight. I want to be able to do my thing without being exhausted.” I said after the final run through of the routine Amber taught us.

  “What thing?” Liz asks

  “Oh, I’m gonna put what I learned to the test. Time to bring sexy back in my household. I totally need to get laid. I’ve been using self-service now it’s time for a full service.” I wink walking away from the group heading towards the door.

  “Get it girl.” Ana’s squeals of delights reaches me as I walk out the door.

  My confidence spikes as I walk to my car. I was going to go through with it.

  Here I was speeding to get home. I guess I really needed to get some action. There’s car sitting outside the house, thinking nothing of it, just that it was a friend. They didn’t have to go home but they needed to leave mine. Walking inside, no one was in our family room but the faintest sound of music greeted my ears.

  “Honey?” I called out shrugging out of my jacket and walking through my home. Searching the house, I checked for my husband and his guest. Heading to the patio to see if they were grilling in the backyard.

  “What the hell is going on?” I whisper, looking up in towards our shared bedroom in the empty backyard. The music I heard earlier was clearly coming from my open bedroom window.

  The weirdest feeling of foreboding washes over me. I went upstairs quietly, thinking “No way. This is not happening. I’m dreaming. This is a sick dream” as I pushed the bedroom door open, he was in bed with someone, his partner was holding onto his arms, and they were red and sweaty, it was really passionate sex, the kind he never has with me anymore and I was standing in complete shock

  Black was cheating on me. The guttural groan that escaped his partner’s mouth made me look in their direction but, it was the deep masculine voice that slapped me in the face. It was a man. Blake was cheating on me with a man.

  A lone tear ran out my eye as he finally registered my presence. I couldn’t face him, the scene before me playing in my head as I turned and started running down the stairs, I hear him swear and come after me. He walks in naked, still aroused.

  Tears ran freely as he approaches me. “I never meant for you to find out like this.”

  “You’re gay?” I whisper more to myself than to him

  He watches me for a moment before he steps closer. Hands out as he approaches me. “I can explain.”

  Before a word could escape a strangely familiar voice fills my kitchen. “Doll, look at you so weak and pathetic, you find your man fucking me and the best you can ask is if he’s gay. Clearly he likes the bussy!”

  “Bussy?” A hysterical cackle escapes my lips. “Bussy? He likes bussy what the fuck?”

  “Boy pussy. He likes men.” he says crudely. My mouth opens and only a croak escapes my lips

  “Poor thing is still in shock Blake. I’ll leave you to it.” It takes me a moment to realize that he was already clothed. “B, call me when you handle this train wreck okay. We need to finish what you started. “

  My blood ran cold and my walls were cracking. All the pent-up anger and repressed emotions I held inside exploded and I bawled.

  “Thirteen years. Thirteen fucking years. I’ve supported your dreams and moves and stood by your side, all while you’re fucking men? This is has to be some kind of sick joke.”

  “I want a divorce.” Blake said calmly.

  �
��That’s my fucking line! I want a fucking divorce! I want one!” my voice shrill and breaking as I yelled at my husband.

  “I want a divorce.” He said more slowly, enunciating the words gently. He didn’t want to hurt me, it was clear in his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I tried to give you every reason in the book to leave me. I really did. I stopped having sex with you, I was mean, called you boring and unattractive but you didn’t budge.” His gaze going to his hands as he spoke lowly, “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and by a lot I mean for the past year. I want a divorce.”

  All this time I thought things were different because I let myself go. When he just wanted men. I didn’t have what made him hard. I was missing an important tool. My hands shook, hysterical laughter bubbled out of me. My brain processing so many different things, making his words all a blur.

  “What the fuck!” Blake shouted, ducking to avoid getting hit by my projectiles.

  I was all out of breakable items. Every time he opened his mouth I threw something at him.

  “Maye, stop let’s talk about this.” He said, his hands held up in surrender.

  “I’m all out of glass Blake, but I bet these knives will be more accurate.” I yelled, selecting a pairing knife out of the butcher block. “Get the fuck out of my house. This isn’t some television show. You won’t become my gay best friend.”

  “I’m not leaving.” He said approaching slowly.

  “Fine, then I’ll leave.” I said, heading to our bedroom, knife still in hand. “Thirteen years Blake.” I started to panic. What was going on? Why was my world suddenly spinning out of control?

  “I was on a personal level. I know it doesn’t seem fair, I really do love you and I tried to talk myself out of men, but it doesn’t work that way. I should have told you sooner.” Still following me. This man had a death wish.

  I wanted to slap him. I wanted to scream at him, throw this knife and hurt him and cry. Instead, I walked aimlessly to the room I shared with my husband. My future ex-husband. I caught my reflection in the corner mirror. My eyes were wild with shock and horror. My pale reflection staring back at me. It seems as though this mirror was always there at my worst, taunting me. Behind me, Blake stood calmly, his blue eyes guilty. His ebony curls slicked back with sweat and whatever hair product he used earlier. Scratching his five o’clock shadow he looks at me. Perfect. Even after sex he was fucking perfect, when he should be a mess. This infuriates me. Throwing the knife, the mirror shatters, sending shards everywhere. Smiling I head to the closet in search of my travel bag I have stored there. Mentally I wasn’t ready for this. His voice, like needles piercing my heart became a blur as I started pulling clothing from hangers and drawers. I heard nothing he said. I was on autopilot. I was about to be divorced at thirty-four and my husband is gay.